Pursuit of Happiness, Chapter 04 - A
May. 22nd, 2013 03:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
twinkletofuTitle: Pursuit of Happiness
Pairing: Yunjae
Raiting: PG 13
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, Angst, Drama, Slight Mpreg(?)
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the plot.
Warning: Mpreg is mentioned but not detailed.
Summary: This is the chaptered version of the oneshot Ignorance is a Bliss.
They were once together, happy and contented. But nothing's perfect and so their lives.
Follow their pursuit of happiness and their own happy ever after.
chapter four - a
Jaejoong ran out of the company he’s working at huffing and frantic. He was arranging a couple of files for his employer when he received a call from Ms. Han, a worker from Jiyool’s daycare. The phone call was brief but he didn’t understand a thing except for the muttered words hospital and Jiyool. Those two made him dash out of the office without even telling his boss. He’s pretty sure she will fire him instantly but who cares? He needs to see Jiyool, pronto.
He was breathless from taking the stairs he opted to take instead of waiting for the damn elevator to open. A couple of curse words were thrown at him but he doesn’t feel like going back to apologize. He’s daughter is his first priority.
Oh God, please let her be okay.
He repeated those words on his mind like a chant as if doing so will make his daughter be fine. He doesn’t know why she was rushed to hospital when she’s well and bouncing during breakfast and it made him twice anxious than he should be. He cursed himself once more for not listening to Ms. Han.
Going past through the building’s revolving door, Jaejoong hailed the first cab he saw. ‘To the hospital, please’, he said.
He clutched his phone on his hand and he almost scolded the driver when he felt like they’re going too slow for his liking. The poor taxi driver could only sigh and shut his mouth when he saw how badly his passenger is shaking.
They arrived at the hospital in no time.
Jaejoong made his run as soon as the cab pulled out. He went past people and patients and went straight to the hospital’s information desk. The nurses forced a smile for him when they saw his distraught face, as if to appease his nerves, and told him where they brought Jiyool. He practically sprinted to where his daughter is at as soon as he heard the info he needed.
He was half jogging, half running when he went past through a couple of hallways and he was close to the children’s wing, he accidentally bumped into someone hard. He was almost knocked on his feet but he managed to grab someone’s hands.
‘Jaejoong’
His voice, low and almost husky, called out his name like he’s glazing it with sweet coatings and he doesn’t know why. He was still holding him, stopping him from falling on his knees. Jung Yunho.
Oh how long has it been since the last time he stared at him with affection on his eyes?
Jaejoong opened his mouth to say something, just to close it when he realized that nothing’s coming out. Yunho grabbed him and helped him stand properly.
‘What are you doing here?’ Yunho asked.
Jaejoong almost forgot his sole purpose of being in the hospital. And upon seeing Yunho’s facing staring back at him like he did several years ago, he wanted to cry. Tears started forming on his eyes and he wanted to lean on him for support – to draw strength.
Yunho’s hands never left his arms and Jaejoong felt the burning feeling from his touch. More. He wants more.
‘What’s the matter, son?’
Jaejoong paled when Yunho’s mom came into view. She was standing a couple of steps behind Yunho and peeking to what his son is doing. She still carries this haughtiness in her that made Jaejoong’s breath hitch in despair.
Let me get out here.
He turned pale in a snap and he became bloody cold. He wanted to run but his feet were glued to the floor. His hands were terribly shaking and his knees felt like they’re about to give up. He was suffocated and he can’t say anything.
Mrs. Jung approached them; her heels clicking against the tile flooring. Her every step made Jaejoong retreat backwards. He never felt Yunho’s hands left his arms but he did when he saw his mom. The closer she gets the more hysterical Jaejoong felt.
I want to get out of here. I need to get out of here.
Jaejoong knew she saw him as she stopped on her tracks and eyed them both, her son and him, possibly asking herself as to why they are together. He felt dizzy and his heart pumped so loud that he thought they could hear it beating.
Distress over took the raven haired man and Yunho noticed it as he shifted his stare from his mom back to Jaejoong. His ex-lover turned from white to ghostly pale and it looks like he’ll faint anytime soon. Yunho felt terribly worried for him despite everything.
He turned back to Jaejoong, ignoring his mom for the mean time, and reached out to hold him again, ‘What’s wrong, Jaejoong?’
But he did not reply.
‘Jae, are you alright?’ Yunho cupped his face with a hand yet he didn’t budge an inch. He called him again in hopes of getting Jaejoong to speak but he gave him nothing.
Mrs. Jung stood on her place while eyeing his son and the person she thought she will never see again. Yunho held Jaejoong by the arm and constantly brushing them with the back of his hands.
‘You –‘, she said without taking her eyes off of Jaejoong.
As if he heard something horrid, he pulled out from Yunho’s grasp and stepped backwards. He was too scared of what she can do but he finally breathed out his first word. ‘No –‘
It sounded like a plea and it took him a lot of effort trying to block her from his view. He kept his head lowered to avoid any eye contact with her. He was trembling and every time she steps closer, he would take a step backward. However this time, Yunho was pulling him to stay on place, to stop him from running.
Yunho noticed how Jaejoong reacts to his mom and he quite can’t place what’s wrong with the two.
‘Mom, why are you –‘
Before Yunho can finish his question, when Jaejoong felt his grip loosened, he ran away – away from his love and his nightmare.
‘Jae!’ Yunho was about to run after Jaejoong but his mother stopped him with her words.
‘What do you think you’re doing, Yunho?’
It was clipped but different from her all too haughty words she gave him ages ago when she was castigating him about Jaejoong. ‘You’re father is awake. Let’s go.’
He wanted to say no and follow Jaejoong but she spoke to him with finality on her voice. He dragged his feet to his father’s room and made a mental note to check on Jaejoong, just to assure himself and to ask her mom. He saw how Jaejoong reacted when he saw her and he’s afraid of what she can do – what she did.
He shouldn’t be caring for this man he once loved but after he saw the same pair of glassy doe eyes staring back at him, he felt a blow right on his guts. As much as he wanted to shake his feelings off, he couldn’t and everything is coming back.
Despite the turmoil he felt, Jaejoong made it to the children’s wing and straight to his daughter’s room, where Ms. Han, the doctor he recognized as Dr. Yoon and a nurse greeted him. He saw his daughter lying on the bed asleep and he went straight to her side, brushing her fringes with his hands and stroking her face and arms with his palms.
She was sneezing during their outdoor play time. When lunch came, we noticed her having difficulty in breathing, we brought her to the clinic but after some time, she was burning hot. We decided it was best to take her here.
Ms. Han told him what happened and the doctor explained to them Jiyool’s condition. It was allergic rhinitis that triggered asthma and her body reacted to it. Doctor Yoon said it wasn’t too serious. When her temperature goes down and her breathing stabilizes, they can go home.
Jaejoong thanked everyone as he ushered them out of the room. He asked the doctor if he can talk to him before he bade his goodbye to the two women and he agreed. They went back to the room and Jaejoong started fidgeting.
‘Sit first.’ The doctor told him and he obeyed. ‘What is it Jaejoong?’
Formalities gone, Jaejoong looked up to Doctor Yoon, a colleague of his doctor. He also took care of Jiyool when she was born. He had to stay for a couple of weeks in the hospital and knowing that he’s fending for himself alone, the two doctors cared for him like he was their own child. He stayed under their care longer than he thought and they knew every single detail about him.
‘Doctor Yoon, d-do you know if Doctor Choi is still here?’
‘Of course he is. You’re lucky, he’s here.’ Doctor Yoon told him and gave him a smile. ‘Come on, I know you want to talk to him. I’ll send someone to watch over your angel.’
He nodded in agreement and kissed his daughter’s forehead before following him out. He was biting his nails in anxiousness while walking beside him on the dull hallways and Doctor Yoon could only pat his back.
They reached a certain office with Doctor Choi’s name plate on the door and they went inside. Doctor Choi is on his mid-sixties but he can still move like any other doctors younger than him by years. He smiled at his visitors and asked them to sit first.
‘Jaejoong, it’s nice to see you here.’ He said as he sat on his leather chair across the two.
‘But the reason he’s here isn’t too nice. His daughter was confined.’ Doctor Yoon added and it made both doctors cringe. ‘She’s okay now.’
Doctor Choi looked at him again, ‘So tell me, why are you really here, hm?’
It took Jaejoong forever to answer but the doctors patiently waited for him to speak. He was clutching on the edge of his shirt to stop himself from breaking down in front of them.
‘I saw her,’ he started with difficulty ‘I saw Yunho’s mom here today.’
The doctors weren’t shocked to hear what Jaejoong said. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand his dilemma when they are aware of what he’s been through. It wasn’t a secret that the Jungs are in the hospital too. They were in and out of the hospital and it’s definitely a miracle for Jaejoong to only see them now.
Doctor Choi noticed his pain and he pitied the young man in front of him. ‘We know, Jaejoong. We should’ve told you.’
Jaejoong felt bad to hear Doctor Choi’s words. He didn’t want to make them feel that way. They already did so much for him and he wasn’t there to make them feel like they did something wrong.
‘It’s okay, doctor. I just need your help. Can help me?’ he pleaded them and the doctors can’t understand what he meant by help. ‘Can you hide Jiyool’s record for me, please?’
Both doctors look bothered at his request.
‘Hospital records are records Jaejoong. We cannot do anything about it.’ Doctor Yoon stated, ‘But confidentiality is something you can hold on to. Don’t worry.’
‘Thank you doctor. B-but if ever somebody asked you anything about me or Jiyool, please tell them you don’t know anything. Please Doctor Choi, hm? Doctor Yoon?’ Jaejoong looked at them both. ‘Please?’
‘I can’t – I won’t let her hurt her son’s daughter.’
Jaejoong’s voice came out close to whisper but he caught it.
After his small encounter with Jaejoong, Yunho followed his mom to his dad’s room. He tried so hard to keep his focus but he was bothered by Jaejoong’s condition. He ran when he got the chance and he wanted to see if he’s okay. When his father fell asleep, Yunho decided to check up on Jaejoong. He went to the same area he saw him and walked from there. Then he saw the raven haired beauty getting out of a room with a doctor on his side. He kept his distance as he followed them both.
Jaejoong and the doctor went inside another room which appeared to be another doctor’s office. He doesn’t know why but Jaejoong’s distraught voice made him halt. Eavesdropping is not the smartest thing to do but at that time, Yunho felt the need for him to do so. Like something inside him tells him to.
Then he heard him talking about his mom.
What on earth was he talking about?
He stayed standing beside the door with his back on the wall. His heart shattered when he heard his pleas and his last words made him freeze.
I won’t let her hurt her son’s daughter.
He wasn’t too sure if he had heard him right. His world stopped when he heard him;
her son’s daughter
His… daughter?
The door clicked open. Bowing to the doctors, Yunho realized that Jaejoong didn’t notice him.
‘Jae…’ Yunho’s voice could not hide his turmoil inside. He was beyond shock of what he had heard and like the surprised man that he was, he could only mutter his name.
From how he looked at him, Jaejoong knew Yunho heard him. He stared at him, not knowing how to explain everything. He had fed him lies over lies and it wouldn’t be that easy to just take it all back.
The whole situation made Jaejoong almost laugh in disbelief. Have you heard of the saying ‘Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong’? If Murphy’s Law is real, then he is sure going through one. His daughter fell ill; he met Yunho’s mom and now, this? How can life just fuck him up in one blow when he had been living the past years in peace?
‘You guys should talk.’ The doctors patted Jaejoong on the back as if assuring him that everything’s going to be alright. Doctor Choi had offered his office for them to talk before he left with Doctor Yoon.
When the two men clad in white coats left, Jaejoong found himself being dragged by Yunho. He was gripping his wrist hard and he could only wince in pain. He yanked him and the tight lip Jaejoong can see only indicates that the man in front of him is beyong raging.
‘Explain.’
That single word reverberated and it made Jaejoong antsy. His palms become sweaty and beads of sweat started forming on his neck and forehead. He clutched his hands; his knuckles turning white and his nails digging the skin of his palm.
What will he say to him? That he has been living a life full of lies? That he had suffered for nothing? How can he tell him he never stopped loving him despite everything that happened? Despite the hurtful words he used to wound him?
‘OPEN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, KIM JAEJOONG!’
Yunho was beyond mad and Jaejoong quivered at his words. Never did he saw him furious like that, much more to feel so inferior in his presence. He opened his mouth to explain just to close it again when can’t say anything.
‘Why did you lie Jaejoong? Why?!’
Tears formed unconsciously on Jaejoong’s eyes and Yunho felt more furious of the whole situation when he saw his ex-lover’s doe eyes glistening with unshed tears. Yunho noticed how Jaejoong looked so weak that time and the wall he built was the only thing that’s keeping him from going.
‘Why did you fucking lie, Jaejoong? I asked you. That day when I was in your house, I asked you. You said what, he’s not mine. Just what are you up to, Jae? Wasn’t it enough that you left me before? Why did you have to hide her from me? I know you didn’t love me. You even said so. But this is too much, Jae.’
Jaejoong shut his lids, not wanting to see Yunho reprimanding him for whatever he has done. He bit his lips until he tasted blood on his mouth. ‘You don’t understand, Yunho….’
‘OF COURSE I WON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND!’
His world was collapsing at his feet and Jaejoong felt like breaking down but he can’t. Not with Yunho in front of him. He made his decision that day and he chose to live by it. Every decision has a price and he thought he already paid for it with everything he’s been through but oh how wrong he was. The thought of having to deal with Yunho regarding this matter never crossed his mind and he’s wasn’t prepared for this one.
‘Yunho-yah…’
‘Why can’t you say anything?!’ Yunho was getting frustrated as their almost one-sided conversation drags on. He seethed for the reason that the man in front of him wouldn’t say anything. ‘And tell me, what about mom?!’
Jaejoong saw his world spinning before him. Everything that has happened that day is taking a toll on him and the prying eyes of the sole person he wanted to run away from worsen his condition. He’s neither in a proper mental state nor emotional to confront Yunho and sensing this made the taller man more infuriated.
‘I can explain…’ he trailed with his words, trying to search Yunho’s face with understanding and sympathy, ‘B-but please not now. I can’t –‘
‘Jaejoong!’ He was cut off when Yunho almost screeched his name in frustration. He badly wants to cry and Jaejoong’s chest tightened in pain. He can’t escape this. He can’t just run away.
‘Yunho, I –‘
But darkness over took him before he could even explain.
Waking up with a massive headache, Jaejoong found himself lying on a hospital bed. The room was dimmed and he made no effort to scan his surroundings. He’s way too disoriented and groggy that he had to sit up and put his head between his legs. What happened? He stayed on the same position for a good minute when it dawned upon him.
‘Jiyool!’ He immediately stripped off the blanket on top of him and made a move to leave the bed. Then he saw Yunho sitting across him with the back of his chair against the wall. His looks made him stop and he wasn’t too sure if he can handle this now.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked with genuine concern on his voice ‘You fainted.’
Jaejoong remembered how dizzy and lightheaded he got. He probably fainted while talking to him, more like Yunho screeching at him. He didn’t know what to say so he told him one thing, ‘I’m sorry’
‘What are you sorry for Jae?’ Although Yunho’s words were clipped, he sounded nothing like the same man yelling at him moments ago.
‘For everything.’
Lowering his head, Jaejoong whispered those words, hoping that it would reach not only Yunho’s ears but also his heart.
‘Why won’t you tell me anything, Jae?’ Yunho asked him with grief on his every word and it pains Jaejoong to hear and see him like this. He just wasn’t the same person who approached him once upon a time in Han River and forced him into talking and he realized how damaged he turned him to be.
To say that Jaejoong felt confused is an understatement. He was torn beyond words and different emotions came bubbling inside of him. If it’s only him and Yunho, he would’ve told the man the truth the moment he saw him but unfortunately it isn’t. There’s his daughter and of course Yunho’s parents and it’s the reality he could no way escape.
Yunho stood up without taking his eyes off the man sitting on the bed. His fists are clenched inside his pockets and he felt his nails digging his palms deeper.
‘Yunho, please. I c-can’t do this right now.’ He pleaded him as he closed his eyes. Then he heard the other man sigh.
‘I’ll give you the night to think, Jaejoong, then that’s it. You know you can’t hide this forever and don’t you dare run away from me.’
He knew he shouldn’t take Yunho’s threat easy. He would go to any length to get anything he wanted and to do things his way. He’s stubborn like that, but that was one of the things he loved about him.
Deciding it was the best for him to leave, Yunho stopped on his tracks before he could even reach the door. He turned his body to face Jaejoong again and looked at him straight in the eye. One thing – he needs to hear this straight from Jaejoong’s mouth.
‘Tell me… Is she mine?’
‘She’s yours’
Leaving Jaejoong is probably the hardest thing Yunho did. He left him inside the hospital room he got after he fainted. He did not want to leave but there are more important things to settle. He will wait.
Yunho was confused and thinking of all the things that had happened for the past five years or so hurts his head. What he should believe, he doesn’t know anymore. He reached the end of the floor and saw a familiar doctor standing beside the nurses’ station while looking at the papers on his hands. It was the same doctor who allowed them to use his office to talk. The doctor saw him when he looked up and gave him a small smile.
Doctor Choi put the filed papers down and approached Yunho.
‘Did you talk to him?’
He was certain he was talking about Jaejoong and Yunho knew he could trust the doctor – because Jaejoong trusts him.
‘Yes’ he felt all too helpless ‘but he didn’t want to say anything’
Sympathizing with the younger man, Doctor Choi gave Yunho a tap on his arms and sighed.
‘That kid has been through a lot.’
There and then, Yunho knew the doctor knows everything down to single detail. If he can’t get anything from Jaejoong, maybe, just maybe, the doctor can answer his questions.
‘Doctor, I know you know something. Tell me anything, please. Anything. ?’ He was desperate for answers and that made Doctor Choi terribly pity him.
‘I am in no position to say anything, child.’ Doctor Choi replied ‘If you want to know, wait for him to tell you.’
‘B-but…’
‘You’re not the only one hurt. He’s been hurt as much as you do, maybe more. Don’t be so reckless with your actions and wound him more.’
His words struck Yunho to his core. He looked at him dumbfounded and his mind went blank. Although he could get bits of it here and there, he couldn’t still place them all together.
‘Think first, child.’ The doctor tapped him twice on the shoulder and left him to ponder on his own. Yes, he will think first. He would set things straight and he knows where to begin.
Next >> Chapter 4 - B
______________________
author's note: a bit delayed, sorry! I have chapter 4 in two parts and this will end soon.
Pairing: Yunjae
Raiting: PG 13
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, Angst, Drama, Slight Mpreg(?)
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the plot.
Warning: Mpreg is mentioned but not detailed.
Summary: This is the chaptered version of the oneshot Ignorance is a Bliss.
They were once together, happy and contented. But nothing's perfect and so their lives.
Follow their pursuit of happiness and their own happy ever after.
chapter four - a
Jaejoong ran out of the company he’s working at huffing and frantic. He was arranging a couple of files for his employer when he received a call from Ms. Han, a worker from Jiyool’s daycare. The phone call was brief but he didn’t understand a thing except for the muttered words hospital and Jiyool. Those two made him dash out of the office without even telling his boss. He’s pretty sure she will fire him instantly but who cares? He needs to see Jiyool, pronto.
He was breathless from taking the stairs he opted to take instead of waiting for the damn elevator to open. A couple of curse words were thrown at him but he doesn’t feel like going back to apologize. He’s daughter is his first priority.
Oh God, please let her be okay.
He repeated those words on his mind like a chant as if doing so will make his daughter be fine. He doesn’t know why she was rushed to hospital when she’s well and bouncing during breakfast and it made him twice anxious than he should be. He cursed himself once more for not listening to Ms. Han.
Going past through the building’s revolving door, Jaejoong hailed the first cab he saw. ‘To the hospital, please’, he said.
He clutched his phone on his hand and he almost scolded the driver when he felt like they’re going too slow for his liking. The poor taxi driver could only sigh and shut his mouth when he saw how badly his passenger is shaking.
They arrived at the hospital in no time.
Jaejoong made his run as soon as the cab pulled out. He went past people and patients and went straight to the hospital’s information desk. The nurses forced a smile for him when they saw his distraught face, as if to appease his nerves, and told him where they brought Jiyool. He practically sprinted to where his daughter is at as soon as he heard the info he needed.
He was half jogging, half running when he went past through a couple of hallways and he was close to the children’s wing, he accidentally bumped into someone hard. He was almost knocked on his feet but he managed to grab someone’s hands.
‘Jaejoong’
His voice, low and almost husky, called out his name like he’s glazing it with sweet coatings and he doesn’t know why. He was still holding him, stopping him from falling on his knees. Jung Yunho.
Oh how long has it been since the last time he stared at him with affection on his eyes?
Jaejoong opened his mouth to say something, just to close it when he realized that nothing’s coming out. Yunho grabbed him and helped him stand properly.
‘What are you doing here?’ Yunho asked.
Jaejoong almost forgot his sole purpose of being in the hospital. And upon seeing Yunho’s facing staring back at him like he did several years ago, he wanted to cry. Tears started forming on his eyes and he wanted to lean on him for support – to draw strength.
Yunho’s hands never left his arms and Jaejoong felt the burning feeling from his touch. More. He wants more.
‘What’s the matter, son?’
Jaejoong paled when Yunho’s mom came into view. She was standing a couple of steps behind Yunho and peeking to what his son is doing. She still carries this haughtiness in her that made Jaejoong’s breath hitch in despair.
Let me get out here.
He turned pale in a snap and he became bloody cold. He wanted to run but his feet were glued to the floor. His hands were terribly shaking and his knees felt like they’re about to give up. He was suffocated and he can’t say anything.
Mrs. Jung approached them; her heels clicking against the tile flooring. Her every step made Jaejoong retreat backwards. He never felt Yunho’s hands left his arms but he did when he saw his mom. The closer she gets the more hysterical Jaejoong felt.
I want to get out of here. I need to get out of here.
Jaejoong knew she saw him as she stopped on her tracks and eyed them both, her son and him, possibly asking herself as to why they are together. He felt dizzy and his heart pumped so loud that he thought they could hear it beating.
Distress over took the raven haired man and Yunho noticed it as he shifted his stare from his mom back to Jaejoong. His ex-lover turned from white to ghostly pale and it looks like he’ll faint anytime soon. Yunho felt terribly worried for him despite everything.
He turned back to Jaejoong, ignoring his mom for the mean time, and reached out to hold him again, ‘What’s wrong, Jaejoong?’
But he did not reply.
‘Jae, are you alright?’ Yunho cupped his face with a hand yet he didn’t budge an inch. He called him again in hopes of getting Jaejoong to speak but he gave him nothing.
Mrs. Jung stood on her place while eyeing his son and the person she thought she will never see again. Yunho held Jaejoong by the arm and constantly brushing them with the back of his hands.
‘You –‘, she said without taking her eyes off of Jaejoong.
As if he heard something horrid, he pulled out from Yunho’s grasp and stepped backwards. He was too scared of what she can do but he finally breathed out his first word. ‘No –‘
It sounded like a plea and it took him a lot of effort trying to block her from his view. He kept his head lowered to avoid any eye contact with her. He was trembling and every time she steps closer, he would take a step backward. However this time, Yunho was pulling him to stay on place, to stop him from running.
Yunho noticed how Jaejoong reacts to his mom and he quite can’t place what’s wrong with the two.
‘Mom, why are you –‘
Before Yunho can finish his question, when Jaejoong felt his grip loosened, he ran away – away from his love and his nightmare.
‘Jae!’ Yunho was about to run after Jaejoong but his mother stopped him with her words.
‘What do you think you’re doing, Yunho?’
It was clipped but different from her all too haughty words she gave him ages ago when she was castigating him about Jaejoong. ‘You’re father is awake. Let’s go.’
He wanted to say no and follow Jaejoong but she spoke to him with finality on her voice. He dragged his feet to his father’s room and made a mental note to check on Jaejoong, just to assure himself and to ask her mom. He saw how Jaejoong reacted when he saw her and he’s afraid of what she can do – what she did.
He shouldn’t be caring for this man he once loved but after he saw the same pair of glassy doe eyes staring back at him, he felt a blow right on his guts. As much as he wanted to shake his feelings off, he couldn’t and everything is coming back.
▪▪▪
Despite the turmoil he felt, Jaejoong made it to the children’s wing and straight to his daughter’s room, where Ms. Han, the doctor he recognized as Dr. Yoon and a nurse greeted him. He saw his daughter lying on the bed asleep and he went straight to her side, brushing her fringes with his hands and stroking her face and arms with his palms.
She was sneezing during their outdoor play time. When lunch came, we noticed her having difficulty in breathing, we brought her to the clinic but after some time, she was burning hot. We decided it was best to take her here.
Ms. Han told him what happened and the doctor explained to them Jiyool’s condition. It was allergic rhinitis that triggered asthma and her body reacted to it. Doctor Yoon said it wasn’t too serious. When her temperature goes down and her breathing stabilizes, they can go home.
Jaejoong thanked everyone as he ushered them out of the room. He asked the doctor if he can talk to him before he bade his goodbye to the two women and he agreed. They went back to the room and Jaejoong started fidgeting.
‘Sit first.’ The doctor told him and he obeyed. ‘What is it Jaejoong?’
Formalities gone, Jaejoong looked up to Doctor Yoon, a colleague of his doctor. He also took care of Jiyool when she was born. He had to stay for a couple of weeks in the hospital and knowing that he’s fending for himself alone, the two doctors cared for him like he was their own child. He stayed under their care longer than he thought and they knew every single detail about him.
‘Doctor Yoon, d-do you know if Doctor Choi is still here?’
‘Of course he is. You’re lucky, he’s here.’ Doctor Yoon told him and gave him a smile. ‘Come on, I know you want to talk to him. I’ll send someone to watch over your angel.’
He nodded in agreement and kissed his daughter’s forehead before following him out. He was biting his nails in anxiousness while walking beside him on the dull hallways and Doctor Yoon could only pat his back.
They reached a certain office with Doctor Choi’s name plate on the door and they went inside. Doctor Choi is on his mid-sixties but he can still move like any other doctors younger than him by years. He smiled at his visitors and asked them to sit first.
‘Jaejoong, it’s nice to see you here.’ He said as he sat on his leather chair across the two.
‘But the reason he’s here isn’t too nice. His daughter was confined.’ Doctor Yoon added and it made both doctors cringe. ‘She’s okay now.’
Doctor Choi looked at him again, ‘So tell me, why are you really here, hm?’
It took Jaejoong forever to answer but the doctors patiently waited for him to speak. He was clutching on the edge of his shirt to stop himself from breaking down in front of them.
‘I saw her,’ he started with difficulty ‘I saw Yunho’s mom here today.’
The doctors weren’t shocked to hear what Jaejoong said. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand his dilemma when they are aware of what he’s been through. It wasn’t a secret that the Jungs are in the hospital too. They were in and out of the hospital and it’s definitely a miracle for Jaejoong to only see them now.
Doctor Choi noticed his pain and he pitied the young man in front of him. ‘We know, Jaejoong. We should’ve told you.’
Jaejoong felt bad to hear Doctor Choi’s words. He didn’t want to make them feel that way. They already did so much for him and he wasn’t there to make them feel like they did something wrong.
‘It’s okay, doctor. I just need your help. Can help me?’ he pleaded them and the doctors can’t understand what he meant by help. ‘Can you hide Jiyool’s record for me, please?’
Both doctors look bothered at his request.
‘Hospital records are records Jaejoong. We cannot do anything about it.’ Doctor Yoon stated, ‘But confidentiality is something you can hold on to. Don’t worry.’
‘Thank you doctor. B-but if ever somebody asked you anything about me or Jiyool, please tell them you don’t know anything. Please Doctor Choi, hm? Doctor Yoon?’ Jaejoong looked at them both. ‘Please?’
‘I can’t – I won’t let her hurt her son’s daughter.’
▪▪▪
Jaejoong’s voice came out close to whisper but he caught it.
After his small encounter with Jaejoong, Yunho followed his mom to his dad’s room. He tried so hard to keep his focus but he was bothered by Jaejoong’s condition. He ran when he got the chance and he wanted to see if he’s okay. When his father fell asleep, Yunho decided to check up on Jaejoong. He went to the same area he saw him and walked from there. Then he saw the raven haired beauty getting out of a room with a doctor on his side. He kept his distance as he followed them both.
Jaejoong and the doctor went inside another room which appeared to be another doctor’s office. He doesn’t know why but Jaejoong’s distraught voice made him halt. Eavesdropping is not the smartest thing to do but at that time, Yunho felt the need for him to do so. Like something inside him tells him to.
Then he heard him talking about his mom.
What on earth was he talking about?
He stayed standing beside the door with his back on the wall. His heart shattered when he heard his pleas and his last words made him freeze.
I won’t let her hurt her son’s daughter.
He wasn’t too sure if he had heard him right. His world stopped when he heard him;
her son’s daughter
His… daughter?
The door clicked open. Bowing to the doctors, Yunho realized that Jaejoong didn’t notice him.
‘Jae…’ Yunho’s voice could not hide his turmoil inside. He was beyond shock of what he had heard and like the surprised man that he was, he could only mutter his name.
From how he looked at him, Jaejoong knew Yunho heard him. He stared at him, not knowing how to explain everything. He had fed him lies over lies and it wouldn’t be that easy to just take it all back.
The whole situation made Jaejoong almost laugh in disbelief. Have you heard of the saying ‘Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong’? If Murphy’s Law is real, then he is sure going through one. His daughter fell ill; he met Yunho’s mom and now, this? How can life just fuck him up in one blow when he had been living the past years in peace?
‘You guys should talk.’ The doctors patted Jaejoong on the back as if assuring him that everything’s going to be alright. Doctor Choi had offered his office for them to talk before he left with Doctor Yoon.
When the two men clad in white coats left, Jaejoong found himself being dragged by Yunho. He was gripping his wrist hard and he could only wince in pain. He yanked him and the tight lip Jaejoong can see only indicates that the man in front of him is beyong raging.
‘Explain.’
That single word reverberated and it made Jaejoong antsy. His palms become sweaty and beads of sweat started forming on his neck and forehead. He clutched his hands; his knuckles turning white and his nails digging the skin of his palm.
What will he say to him? That he has been living a life full of lies? That he had suffered for nothing? How can he tell him he never stopped loving him despite everything that happened? Despite the hurtful words he used to wound him?
‘OPEN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, KIM JAEJOONG!’
Yunho was beyond mad and Jaejoong quivered at his words. Never did he saw him furious like that, much more to feel so inferior in his presence. He opened his mouth to explain just to close it again when can’t say anything.
‘Why did you lie Jaejoong? Why?!’
Tears formed unconsciously on Jaejoong’s eyes and Yunho felt more furious of the whole situation when he saw his ex-lover’s doe eyes glistening with unshed tears. Yunho noticed how Jaejoong looked so weak that time and the wall he built was the only thing that’s keeping him from going.
‘Why did you fucking lie, Jaejoong? I asked you. That day when I was in your house, I asked you. You said what, he’s not mine. Just what are you up to, Jae? Wasn’t it enough that you left me before? Why did you have to hide her from me? I know you didn’t love me. You even said so. But this is too much, Jae.’
Jaejoong shut his lids, not wanting to see Yunho reprimanding him for whatever he has done. He bit his lips until he tasted blood on his mouth. ‘You don’t understand, Yunho….’
‘OF COURSE I WON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND!’
His world was collapsing at his feet and Jaejoong felt like breaking down but he can’t. Not with Yunho in front of him. He made his decision that day and he chose to live by it. Every decision has a price and he thought he already paid for it with everything he’s been through but oh how wrong he was. The thought of having to deal with Yunho regarding this matter never crossed his mind and he’s wasn’t prepared for this one.
‘Yunho-yah…’
‘Why can’t you say anything?!’ Yunho was getting frustrated as their almost one-sided conversation drags on. He seethed for the reason that the man in front of him wouldn’t say anything. ‘And tell me, what about mom?!’
Jaejoong saw his world spinning before him. Everything that has happened that day is taking a toll on him and the prying eyes of the sole person he wanted to run away from worsen his condition. He’s neither in a proper mental state nor emotional to confront Yunho and sensing this made the taller man more infuriated.
‘I can explain…’ he trailed with his words, trying to search Yunho’s face with understanding and sympathy, ‘B-but please not now. I can’t –‘
‘Jaejoong!’ He was cut off when Yunho almost screeched his name in frustration. He badly wants to cry and Jaejoong’s chest tightened in pain. He can’t escape this. He can’t just run away.
‘Yunho, I –‘
But darkness over took him before he could even explain.
▪▪▪
Waking up with a massive headache, Jaejoong found himself lying on a hospital bed. The room was dimmed and he made no effort to scan his surroundings. He’s way too disoriented and groggy that he had to sit up and put his head between his legs. What happened? He stayed on the same position for a good minute when it dawned upon him.
‘Jiyool!’ He immediately stripped off the blanket on top of him and made a move to leave the bed. Then he saw Yunho sitting across him with the back of his chair against the wall. His looks made him stop and he wasn’t too sure if he can handle this now.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked with genuine concern on his voice ‘You fainted.’
Jaejoong remembered how dizzy and lightheaded he got. He probably fainted while talking to him, more like Yunho screeching at him. He didn’t know what to say so he told him one thing, ‘I’m sorry’
‘What are you sorry for Jae?’ Although Yunho’s words were clipped, he sounded nothing like the same man yelling at him moments ago.
‘For everything.’
Lowering his head, Jaejoong whispered those words, hoping that it would reach not only Yunho’s ears but also his heart.
‘Why won’t you tell me anything, Jae?’ Yunho asked him with grief on his every word and it pains Jaejoong to hear and see him like this. He just wasn’t the same person who approached him once upon a time in Han River and forced him into talking and he realized how damaged he turned him to be.
To say that Jaejoong felt confused is an understatement. He was torn beyond words and different emotions came bubbling inside of him. If it’s only him and Yunho, he would’ve told the man the truth the moment he saw him but unfortunately it isn’t. There’s his daughter and of course Yunho’s parents and it’s the reality he could no way escape.
Yunho stood up without taking his eyes off the man sitting on the bed. His fists are clenched inside his pockets and he felt his nails digging his palms deeper.
‘Yunho, please. I c-can’t do this right now.’ He pleaded him as he closed his eyes. Then he heard the other man sigh.
‘I’ll give you the night to think, Jaejoong, then that’s it. You know you can’t hide this forever and don’t you dare run away from me.’
He knew he shouldn’t take Yunho’s threat easy. He would go to any length to get anything he wanted and to do things his way. He’s stubborn like that, but that was one of the things he loved about him.
Deciding it was the best for him to leave, Yunho stopped on his tracks before he could even reach the door. He turned his body to face Jaejoong again and looked at him straight in the eye. One thing – he needs to hear this straight from Jaejoong’s mouth.
‘Tell me… Is she mine?’
‘She’s yours’
▪▪▪
Leaving Jaejoong is probably the hardest thing Yunho did. He left him inside the hospital room he got after he fainted. He did not want to leave but there are more important things to settle. He will wait.
Yunho was confused and thinking of all the things that had happened for the past five years or so hurts his head. What he should believe, he doesn’t know anymore. He reached the end of the floor and saw a familiar doctor standing beside the nurses’ station while looking at the papers on his hands. It was the same doctor who allowed them to use his office to talk. The doctor saw him when he looked up and gave him a small smile.
Doctor Choi put the filed papers down and approached Yunho.
‘Did you talk to him?’
He was certain he was talking about Jaejoong and Yunho knew he could trust the doctor – because Jaejoong trusts him.
‘Yes’ he felt all too helpless ‘but he didn’t want to say anything’
Sympathizing with the younger man, Doctor Choi gave Yunho a tap on his arms and sighed.
‘That kid has been through a lot.’
There and then, Yunho knew the doctor knows everything down to single detail. If he can’t get anything from Jaejoong, maybe, just maybe, the doctor can answer his questions.
‘Doctor, I know you know something. Tell me anything, please. Anything. ?’ He was desperate for answers and that made Doctor Choi terribly pity him.
‘I am in no position to say anything, child.’ Doctor Choi replied ‘If you want to know, wait for him to tell you.’
‘B-but…’
‘You’re not the only one hurt. He’s been hurt as much as you do, maybe more. Don’t be so reckless with your actions and wound him more.’
His words struck Yunho to his core. He looked at him dumbfounded and his mind went blank. Although he could get bits of it here and there, he couldn’t still place them all together.
‘Think first, child.’ The doctor tapped him twice on the shoulder and left him to ponder on his own. Yes, he will think first. He would set things straight and he knows where to begin.
Next >> Chapter 4 - B
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author's note: a bit delayed, sorry! I have chapter 4 in two parts and this will end soon.
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Date: 2013-05-23 01:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-24 12:28 pm (UTC)