twinkletofu | Pursuit of Happiness, Chapter 04

Title: Pursuit of Happiness
Pairing: Yunjae
Raiting: PG 13
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, Angst, Drama, Slight Mpreg(?)
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the plot.
Warning: Mpreg is mentioned but not detailed.
Summary: This is the chaptered version of the oneshot Ignorance is a Bliss.

They were once together, happy and contented. But nothing's perfect and so their lives.
Follow their pursuit of happiness and their own happy ever after.

chapter four - b

‘Minsook, where’s Yunho?’

Although in a weakened state, Jung Taewon, Yunho’s dad, still sound as dominating as ever. Minsook, his wife helped him prop himself on the bed, half of his body leaning on a pile of pillows. His retirement was soon followed by frequent visits to the hospital. He’s been in and out of it for the past few years due to health issues and though his health is deteriorating, he still carries the same superiority that made his political rivals stay out of his way.

He and his wife were both from prominent families; his side, consisted of politicians and government officials while his wife’s family is involved in different businesses – the perfect mix of the best of both worlds.

‘He went outside a while ago.’ Minsook said as she sat herself on a chair next to his husband’s bed. She knew very well where Yunho had left and thinking that his husband isn’t fit enough to deal with it, she decided it was best not to tell him anything for the mean time.

Upon hearing this, Jung Taewon sighed at the thought of his only son.

‘I don’t know what to do with that kid anymore.’ Silence filled the room as they ponder on what the man was talking about. Yunho hasn’t been on good terms with his parents for so long that they had to force him to go back to Korea and visit his father. Never did he go back to the county he learned to abhor to escape his bitter reality after that incident.

‘He shouldn’t be acting like this.’ He voiced out and looked at his wife. They noticed the drastic change on their son and saw how detached he became.

They were too busy before; their schedules too demanding that they missed most of their time together. They were on the height of their careers; both venturing in politics and business. The change in their son didn’t become too obvious until that day when Yunho insisted to go to Japan to fully manage the company they had recently started. Minsook figured out as to why he suddenly requested such thing and she’s too pleased that his son’s lover did what he promised. She was all wrapped up on her actions that she did not even realize how bad his son took it – not until months after when they visited him. He shut everyone out, even his own parents. When they met him, he barely entertained them, giving their business as a reason. His parents were too disappointed but never showed he care.

He was also feared by their employees and business rivals. Too bitter, they say, but it also made him soar to the top. He gets everything his way with almost everyone bowing down to his orders and marked his place in the business as one of the most sought after bachelors his age. People flock to him one by one; to check the man their colleagues were talking about. Clients and business partners increased, if not doubled and it did them all great. Both parties benefiting from it, but the work load was solely in Yunho’s advantage. It made him busy. Too busy that he barely slept but most of all, it made him forget. He was too occupied to even think of Jaejoong and their failure of a relationship – if there was anything to begin with.

Minsook and Taewon’s conversation was interrupted by a knock. It was Yunho and he didn’t bother waiting for their reply as he entered the room with his lips pressed into a thin line. He glanced at his father then settled his gaze to the person he had wanted to see as soon as possible.

‘Where have you been son?’ his dad asked him but his focus remained on his mom. She was sitting beside his dad’s bed, staring back at him.

‘Somewhere.’ Yunho looked at his father for a bit and pierced back on his mother. ‘Can we talk?’

Minsook was hesitant at first but sensing how important it was, Yunho’s father told them to go home as it was past visiting hours already. His son was pleased by this and they soon left Taewon under the care of their highly paid nurses.

Their journey was too silent and the tension inside Yunho’s car was unbearable. He wanted to ask his mom right there and then but it wasn’t the best choice. A lot of things ran on his head on their way back home and he had to grip his steering wheel so hard, his knuckles turning white, just to control himself.

They arrived home in no time and Yunho immediately asked his mom to be on their living room. He told his mom to sit though he continued towering her as he remained standing behind a couch. He needs to know what happened and he pledged to get everything he can from his mother before the night ends.

‘I don’t need any bullshit now, mom.’ he started and tucked his hands on his pockets, clutching them as he talk to his mother. His words came out too crisp but it only indicates how he isn’t there for sweet talks. ‘What did you do?’

His voice remained low and controlled. He saw her shifting on her sit, too poised and haughty. If she’s anyone but her that time, he would’ve cringed at her instantly, but that’s her mom and she acts that way.
He recalled how distressed Jaejoong’s voice was when he overheard his conversation with the doctors and it made him rigid. He knew she has something to do with all of this, however, although seething inside and wanting to shout at her, Yunho gave what’s remaining on his respect for the aging woman in front of him.

‘I see that bitch already told you,’ she said as-a-matter-of-factly.

‘No he didn’t,’ Yunho said. ‘I just figured it all out.’ Jaejoong definitely didn’t tell him anything. He refused to actually. ‘Now cut the crap and say something.’

His mother lifted up a chin and arched her brow, completely offended by his son’s words. ‘Is that how you talk to your mom?’

‘Are you even in the position to ask me, mother?’ He questioned her, stressing out the word mother. Never did he talk to her this way but fuck everything, if it’s the only way he could make her tell him something, then he’s up for being a complete sonnovabitch.

‘I heard him talking with the doctors about you. I confronted him but he refused to tell me anything but I know the kid is mine.’ This made Mrs. Jung look at her son. ‘He got so scared when he saw you and he wouldn’t be acting that way if you didn’t do something. What the hell did you do?’

How he missed Jaejoong’s actions at first, he didn’t know. And he hated himself for that.

‘Nothing something I shouldn’t do.’

He almost laughed when he heard her answer. ‘Oh mom, I’m not here for a small talk’ Yunho mockingly told her while shaking his head and went back to his previous demeanor. ‘Did you know he was pregnant?’

‘I do.’

‘And you told him to leave me.’

She did not reply and Yunho bit his lip before exhaling out loud, ‘That’s what I figured out’

The irony of things, really. He remembered how forgiving Jaejoong was to his parents amidst all things when they were still together. His parents treated him – them – the worst and it left a bitter taste on his mouth, ‘I probably left you years ago if not for Jaejoong. Funny right?’

‘They are your parents. Just let it go –‘

His jaw tightened at the thought of it.

‘He’d been so adamant that I stay with you and forget all the things that happened between us yet you were the one who pushed him away. You had chastised me for so many times, I couldn’t even remember and every time I felt like leaving that hell hole, u know what Jaejoong said? He told me not to leave you and dad… because you are my parents.’

‘But didn’t you realize how wrong it was? You and him together, it was wrong in the first place.’ Minsook stood up and faced his fuming son. ‘What will the others say? That you were in a relationship with an orphan? And a gay one? Have you even thought of what will people think about you – us? No, I couldn’t take that!’

‘And it all goes down to you again, right?’ he smiled at her but it didn’t reach his eyes. ‘And what if – what if he’s a guy? This is what we are. We chose this path and we live by it. Does it make us less of a person?’

His mom stared at him, completely astounded by his reply.

‘Did you even realize what you did? I missed 4 years of my daughter’s life!’ His pitch increased, his self-control completely forgotten, ‘FOUR YEARS! FOUR FUCKING YEARS! And it’s all because of you!’

He was so mad that his eyes felt hot, his tears threatening to spill in madness. ‘And you know what, she’s totally clueless to all this shit. She doesn’t even know I’m his dad and she calls me Ahjusshi, mom! Not Appa, not papa – not even Uncle! Do you know how painful that is?!’

‘What you have with that guy is a sin!’ Mrs. Jung closed their distance as she screams back at him, totally losing her control on their tirade. ‘Two men liking each other, do you think that’s normal? That’s not how we raised you!’

‘And you definitely had sex. Plenty of them, am I right? Aren’t you even disgusted with yourselves? It’s sickening, for God’s sake!’

Mrs. Jung had to catch her breath after confronting his son. She was too frustrated that he couldn’t understand her – his own mother. She couldn’t let them be together. Not when people judge them by their smallest mistakes. They scrutinize them, waiting for them to make faults, big or not, and jumping at them to completely destroy their family, their lives. A price to pay when you’re on top but she couldn’t have it in any way.

She loves her son, she and her husband both does. They both wanted the best for him but when they learned that their son had shamelessly came out of the closet and dated the guy they thought was his friend, the two of them knew they had to act. Jaejoong could never be the best for Yunho, they knew that. They opposed them being together and their relationship with their son had come to worst – all because of Jaejoong.

People around them started talking about the two men and they seem to be both oblivious about it. They were both wrapped up on their own little world that they seem to be in bliss. The situation worsened when Mrs. Jung learned that Yunho had fathered his lover’s child. Getting someone pregnant is one, but a man? That would be the biggest scandal to hit the entire South Korea. She had to take action and when his son wasn’t there with his lover, she grabbed the chance.

Twisted, she knows, but it was her way of protecting him and her loved ones.

‘Why can’t that brain of yours understand that you can’t be with that whore?!’

‘DON’T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT JAEJOONG LIKE THAT’ Yunho shouted back at her, not liking how his mother was bad mouthing Jaejoong when the other guy was nothing but a victim. They were shouting back at each other and it made Mrs. Jung more irritated.

‘What? Are you defending him now?’

‘I should have done years ago!’

He should have if he only knew what Jaejoong had been through. He will but he was denied the chance to! He groaned as self-hatred started to creep on him and he was getting tired of everything.

His mother made a move, probably to speak again, but he raised a hand out.

‘Mom just – let’s stop this.’

He couldn’t bear listening to her again and arguing with her will never result into anything. He walked away from her but stopped right before he totally vanished out of the room. He kept his back on her, only tilting his head sideways.

‘Congratulations, mom,’ he said ‘You’ve successfully ruined my life.’

Yunho couldn’t take it anymore so he left her alone and retreated to his father’s home bar. He was happy it was confided in a larger room and no one could get in, not when the keys are safely tucked on his pocket. He felt like everything has gone wrong. He didn’t get the entire truth but what his mother told him already gave him the idea of what had happened. He was furious at her. Disappointed that her mom could do this to them.

Dragging his feet to the alcohol clad room, he grabbed a bottle of brandy, sat himself up on a stool on their home bar counter and started pouring himself a drink. He gulped down drink after drink in hopes that it could fog up his brain but everything remained too vivid.

‘Yunnie, when will you go home?’

‘Soon, baby. I’ll be back in a few weeks. Why?’

‘Oh, nothing! I – I have something to tell you.’

‘Can’t you tell me now?’

‘Nope! It’s a surprise!’

Jaejoong had been ecstatic on the phone. He was in Japan when he called him, too excited and he didn’t have a clue why.

But now he does.

He shut his eyes as he tried to breathe his pain out and drank another shot. He poured himself another glass and stared at it as his last memory of Jaejoong before they got separated came to his mind. He met him as soon as he landed in South Korea but the man only greeted him with his eyes deadpanned, acting nothing like the ecstatic one who called him weeks prior.

Now he fucking knew why.

He remembered his words. Those words that haunted him until now even on his sleep.

‘I can’t do this anymore Yunho’

‘I don’t love you. Never.’

He gripped his glass harder.

‘I’m done with you.’

He loathed him – so much that he felt too guilty when reality came knocking. He was hurt but the pain wouldn’t compare to what Jaejoong felt before, he told himself. What drove Jaejoong away would probably be the worst. And he couldn’t help thinking how scared he was and he failed to see that something was definitely out of the picture.

You’re at fault too, stupid, he told himself and muttered a string of curses at his ultimate failure in life.

He didn’t notice he was crying until he felt his tears roll down on his cheeks. He felt like his heart is being squeezed – ripped into pieces. It hurts. It hurts a lot.

‘Ahjusshi, you okay?’

He remembered that day.

‘Y – Yun…. Yunho ahjusshi, wanna eat?’

You refused your own daughter, goddamnit.

‘Will you go back?’

More tears fell from his eyes. That gutting feeling that made him writhe inside. He leaned on the counter with his face forward, his arms supporting his head. He was drunk and he’s a mess but he kept on crying. He cried for them. For Jaejoong and Jiyool and for the lost time he couldn’t possibly take back now.

If he knew – If he only knew, he wouldn’t have left. He disappointed them and it kills him inside. He lost almost five years of his daughter’s life and he wasn’t there when she needed him the most. His daughter, his own blood, yet she let her down. Her first cry, her first words, her first walk – all those firsts, he failed to see. Did she cry loud when she was born? Did she fall on her knees on her first walk? Did she – did she even looked for his dad?

And Jaejoong? He couldn’t even start with Jaejoong. He vowed to protect the man, to love him all his life but what did he do? He did not even try to fight for them. Questioning the oddity of the whole situation should have been the best thing to do but he never did. He was too blinded by anger that even logic was forgotten.

Yes he was mad at his mother, but now, he can only feel self-hatred. He let them suffer. Jaejoong raised her alone and he wonders how they survived. It pained him to think how the two fend up for themselves. Did they live on that house all these years? He was reminded of that apartment the two are staying and he hated himself more that he’s been living his life in sheer opulence while the two can’t even afford a decent home. The place was okay, but he can give them better. He was robbed the chance to provide, to be a good husband and father – and he could not turn back time.

▪▪▪

How the next day started was like a blur. Yunho woke up on the same position he was hours ago and the next thing he knew, he’s driving his car out of his house. Upon reaching the hospital, Yunho went straight to the information desk and immediately asked if there's someone under the name Kim Jaejoong or Jung Jiyool on their list. The nurses refused to give him any, saying that the parent requested for privacy. He wasn't surprised of what Jaejoong did. He probably wished to be under the radar and out of his parent’s sight.

Then he remembered Doctor Choi. Thinking that he could help him, he asked for his office and went there. He had to wait for another thirty minutes for him to arrive for he has a scheduled patient to attend to and it took him all effort to stay composed.

He was tapping his foot whilst twirling his phone on his hand when he was called in.

'What brought you here, Jung Yunho-sshi?' Doctor Choi greeted him as he entered the room.

'I wouldn't be surprised that you know my name, Doctor,' he said as he sat on the chair provided. 'I'm here for Jaejoong.... and Jiyool.'

‘Ahh, I see,’ the doctor replied and studied him, as if measuring out what he’s up to. ‘That’s not the only reason why you’re here. Am I right, Jung Yunho-sshi?’

‘Well… yes.’ He looked down, feeling the pressure of talking about it to someone. ‘I’ve confronted my mom last night… and I know she drove Jaejoong away. But I still don’t know why Jaejoong had to do it. He could’ve asked me for help. Jae refuses to say anything but… I really have to know.’

He never had sounded so desperate and confused in life but things already happened and the only thing he could do is to make things right. Seeing him like this and hearing his plea, the doctor could only give in to his request.

‘First – ‘ The doctor started, getting his full attention. ‘I’m not in the right position to tell you this but I’m doing this for the sake of those two – not as doctor but a person who cares for them. Jaejoong wouldn’t tell you this. I know him. But, I only have one concern. Your mother –‘

‘I know what she can do,’ he briskly answered him, definitely prepared to hear whatever the doctor could tell him.

‘That day,’ the doctor settled his back on his leather chair. ‘I was with my colleagues when another doctor approached us. He’s my friend and he looked really stressed. We asked him why and he said that someone’s been forcing him to do something beyond his will. He was being dragged on a situation he doesn’t want to be involved.’

Yunho listen to him intently, taking in every word the doctor is saying.

‘He’s license was at stake but he couldn’t do anything since someone was clearly using their power to have things moving. A few days after, your mom – she dragged Jaejoong on the hospital. It was a scene, really. I was on duty when I saw them. That poor kid… he was literally dragged here. Nobody stopped them in fear of being involved.’

Doctor Choi paused and looked at the man in front on him before he drop the bomb.

‘She was forcing him to – to give up the child.’

Yunho was looking down and his head snapped when he heard what the doctor said.

‘You mean –‘ he trailed off, shocked at what he heard.

‘Yes, abortion. I don’t really know what happened but my colleague approached me the same day, asking me if I could help Jaejoong. I was doing a research before, most are government-funded. He asked me if I could help him out.’

He was overwhelmed. Too overwhelmed of what he’s hearing that he didn’t realize that he’s been clutching his hands on his lap really hard.

‘I met Jaejoong. He was distraught and he looked like he will just break down. We offered him help though he refused at first. Then a few weeks after, he approached us, asking us if he could still get the offer. We knew he was living by himself. He never had someone with him when he went for checkups and he listed no one on his record.’

Guilt-stricken, Yunho was, but kept on listening to him.

‘We listed him under the hospital’s care. Since he’s a rare case, we put him up for research. Everything were taken care off, hospital bills, his medicines… he couldn’t possibly work on his condition –‘

‘What do you mean? Was he sick?’ Yunho cut him off.

‘He was. He had to stay here weeks before his due and several more weeks after. His condition was too sensitive. His health deteriorated and we had to give him all those meds so he could get through all nine weeks. When Jiyool was born, both of them had to stay here for observation. Remember Doctor Yoon? He looked after Jiyool while she’s here. We had to put her under observation too – to check things.’

‘Those two charmed everyone here,’ he said. ‘Jaejoong’s spirit really lifted up after Jiyool was born. He’s like our own child and we couldn’t really have him fend up for himself and his daughter so we decided it’s better if we will help them before he can go back to work.’

The doctor smiled at the thought of their patients. ‘I know you’re bothered by this but those two are stronger than you think.’

Yunho smiled back. ‘I could see that.’

Both remained silent for a good minute before Yunho broke the silence. ‘Do you think he will forgive me?’

‘Did you do something?’ Yunho remained silent.

The doctor acknowledged his silence. ‘What’s there to forgive?’ the doctor asked again, pitying the young man in front of him.

‘I left them.’

Yunho’s answer was short but he couldn’t hide the regret that came with it.

‘That’s for you to know.’

What the doctor told him was a blow. He couldn’t possibly think how Jaejoong went through all those things. It pains him to even imagine him suffering. He thanked the doctor for everything that he told him and before he left his office, Doctor Choi told him where he could find the two.

▪▪▪

Jaejoong was wiping his sleeping daughter’s arms with a wet towel when someone knocked on the door. Thinking that it was only the doctor, he immediately stood up and opened the door.

‘Hello, doctor –‘

He stopped when he saw Yunho standing in front of him. Nothing was uttered; both standing across each other. However, Yunho’s eyes shifted from him to the kid sleeping on the bed.

‘Is that Jiyool?’ he asked with concern on his voice.

Jaejoong nodded at him, his words jumbled and his thoughts all over the place.

‘Is she okay?’ Jaejoong nodded again. ‘Has she been sleeping? Will she wake up soon?’

‘She woke up around dawn. She fell asleep again.’

Yunho’s feet was itching to walk towards her, to check on her, but he let himself be glued to the floor. There are things he should do first. He can wait. He has to.

His eyes went back to Jaejoong. ‘Let’s talk.’

Jaejoong didn’t know what to do – what to answer. And he’s too afraid to leave his daughter alone. ‘I can’t Yunho. Jiyool –‘

‘This is going to be fast.’

‘B – but…’

Determination, that’s what made Jaejoong agreed. He saw how determined Yunho was and he could not deny him again. Jaejoong went back to his daughter’s side, leaving Yunho standing by the door alone. He safely tucked her under the blanket again and left the place.

He was surprised when Yunho grabbed his hands but he didn’t pull out. It was ages ago since the last time he was able to touch him and he’s loving every second of it. Yunho dragged him to the nearest emergency exit and closed the door.

Jaejoong was standing when Yunho just pulled him in a hug. He was hugging him so tight that Jaejoong couldn’t breathe properly.

‘Yunho, I can’t breathe’

The smaller man tried to pull out from Yunho’s grasp but he only tightened his hold on him.

‘Hey…’ Jaejoong called him softly.

Yunho remained on his position, hugging Jaejoong and burying his face into his neck.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Yunho-yah….’

‘I’m sorry Jae. I’m sorry’

Jaejoong stood on his place. He was listening to the other man when he felt something wet dropped on his skin. It made him bury his face on Yunho’s chest and hug him back.

‘Don’t cry, Yunho-yah.’

He tried to soothe him with his words. He can feel the pain – share it, rather. He kept on telling him not to cry but he, himself, couldn’t stop his own tears.

‘I’m sorry, Jaejoong. I’m sorry. Everything’s my fault.’

Hearing his words made Jaejoong pull from him. Both of them are crying but Jaejoong’s eyes are stern. ‘It’s not your fault! Do not blame yourself!’

‘No, Jae. This is my fault. If only –‘

‘Shut up, Jung Yunho!’ Jaejoong screeched at him, his eyes softening after. ‘Stop blaming yourself... I chose this. You can’t – you can’t blame yourself. I’ve decided this on my own and I’m not regretting anything.’

Yunho hugged him again, the raven-haired man’s body perfectly fitting into his. Both stopped crying as if they were soothed by each other’s heartbeat.

‘Let’s start anew, Jae.’ Yunho squeezed him again. ‘Come with me – you and Jiyool. I’ll fix everything and we can be happy together. Just like before, hm?’

But Jaejoong couldn’t answer him.

‘Jae…..? Please?’

‘I don’t know, Yunho.’

‘I need you Jaejoong. I need to be with you and Jiyool. I’ve already lost so much time and I couldn’t miss more of my daughter’s life. Please, Jae? Don’t…. don’t refuse me.’

Jaejoong couldn’t answer him for he was still afraid of what will happen – of what the future awaits for them. How can they just go on with life like nothing ever happened? He’s scared, really scared. What if he’s just dreaming? What if one day he wakes up and life went back to what it was. He couldn’t go through the same thing again. And Jiyool? What if someone tried to hurt her again?

‘We should go back, Yunho.’ Jaejoong told him, completely refusing to answer his request. ‘What if Jiyool’s awake and I’m not on her side. She will be scared.’

Hearing his daughter’s name made him sigh in defeat. He knew he can’t push the subject more but at least, Jaejoong didn’t push away him this time. For now, it’s enough.

He reached out and brushed the smaller man’s fringes out of his face and stroked his cheeks with his thumb. ‘Fine.’ He gently said. ‘Come on.’

Yunho grabbed Jaejoong’s hand again, interlacing their fingers like what lovers do. But when they reached the room, Jiyool was nowhere in sight.

Next: Chapter 5 + Epilogue >>

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author's note: Part B, guys! I'll be waving my creative license with this chapter. You know, med thing, etc. I don't really know what to feel about this. What do you think? ;_;

Anyway, one more chapter left. I'll post Chapter 5 and epilogue in one day so, yes, Pursuit will end soon.

I also have a little announcement, if you have time, you can go read it here.

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Location: In bed
Current Music: The 1975 - So Far (It's alright)